Things People Search - January 2018
Things people Search - January 2018 Edition
January was a great month for Malta Warehouse. We had unprecedented search volumes and with that some technical issues that the wizards over at Incredible Web had to deal with. With Search volumes comes search data, with almost 40,000* page views in 31 days, (*39,939 to be precise) we had a lot to mine.
Data mining is becoming a resource more valuable than gold in this data driven world. Whilst the titans such as Amazon, Youtube, Google, Ebay, Facebook and Instagram probably have volumes of 40K+ views per minute. Complex tools must be employed to extract statistics and client information, with Malta Warehouse complex mining techniques can be replaced with simple desktop mining tools.
The valuable information we gather enables us to read demands and trends from our clients and prospective ones. Thanks to this passive technique of data collection we were able to find out that there was a demand for bulk items on our website. The amount of searches related to this enables us to focus our resources, kicking off a feature in our website that we knew would take off.
Who can make use of this Bulk Buying section at Malta Warehouse?
This section is particularly catered to larger establishments that want the make use of the easy platform Malta Warehouse website and dedicated mobile shopping app. The ability to order from us at any time of the day (or night), making use of our next day delivery and buying in bulk the items they use regularly.
Sports clubs, Bars, Restaurants, Social Clubs, Grocers, Convenience Shops, Ship Chandlers, Offices and Government Departments have all made use of this service. It is however not limited to them. Anyone who wishes to purchase in bulk from us may do so. Are you preparing for a party or event and are in need of some items in bulk?
Should there be any items that you need or use regularly and is not visible in our Bulk Listings, just come in contact with us as we will be able to arrange a bulk listing price.
The searches do not come in any particular order except that of Funny!
Our last edition had some weird searches, The month of January 2018's dominant theme was the funny combo of searches we received.
Chocolate - Condoms
Ok so let's think about this person right here. There are a few scenarios that could have gone down to lead to searching for these items, consecutively. Something like, hmmmmmmm, my Girlfriend told me about this website. Let me see if there is anything on this website that she really likes: "Types Chocolate" Then a bulb flashes in his mind, his tongue slips out (like a dog), let me see if there is anything I also like (thinks of sex): "Types Condoms".
Ok so someone needs to tell this cracker that you cannot buy colours from our website. We had this situation last time we did this with another colour, we hope to God that this is not the same person.... Purple, purple, purple, could it be that this person was looking for something purple but his the Search bar Prematurely?
Excuse us whilst we kiss the sky, we love us some hendricks but you sir are not going to find anything he was on from our website. :)
Yes of course we sell Eyes, we wouldn't be where we are now if we didn't. We sell a ton of eyes, don't know how people log into our website without them but what the hell, Malta Warehouse is embarking on the Black Market Organ Donor Arena and we are doing it Super Cheap! #CHEAPEST | #ONLIINE | #MALTA | #MALTAWAREHOUSE
Vodka - Whiskas
This is another multi combo search double whammy! We kind of have an idea who was behind the last few searches. This little stoner kitty logged onto our website and wanted to purchase, some Purple Haze, Munchies & Drank! Unfortunately for the kitty we do not sell to animals so she's gonna have to find another way to get hooked up.
Ok so if we got 1c for everytime someone asked us if we had gold. I tell ya, well we'd really tell ya. ya. We can tell you what we do have thats Golden:
- Our Service
- Our Delivery Men
- Our Prices
- Our Attitude to life
- Our Sense of Humor
- Our Love for Gold
So yeah we offer all these Golden services to our clients around Malta and now even Gozo, but sorry we don't offer the actual product: Gold.
Ok you guys love to throw us curve balls every now and then for sure. I mean Pink Spray, where to even begin with this one. So We do know two things about what this person is searching for on our website (Malta Warehouse; the most awesome place on the interwebs where one may purchase many discountd Supermarket things at unbelievably good reduced prices in Malta and delivered straight to your door, thus enabling you to not even have to leave your house and keep on binge watching American Crime Story)
- That the person was in fact looking for a spray.
- It had to be pink
I have a slight suspicion that this might be another one of our Stoned Furry Friends searches. She seems like she would like "Pink Spray"!
The Quadruple Whammy perverted Granny!
Yes this elderly person still has it going on. It is possible that these searches were not exactly made by one person. Simultaneous searches could happen at the same time on our website, but we at Malta Warehouse do not want to take that into consideration. For us this one foracuois pensioner! Think about it, the elderly person logs in thinking about sex then remembers that the coffee is finished. Remembering the coffee is out, his teeth fall out of his mouth because his denture fixture gum was at the end of the tube, so he finished off searching for a beer or two!! Hahahahahha!!!
And for Finale, Tramadol, come on!! WTF?!?!
Soooooooo.... Yeah, seriously guys, don't take your Tramadol on an empty stomach. This conscientious person in fact searched for some tomatoes first at least. (which we do sell coincidentally on our great website: Malta Warehouse) but yeah, we don't sell heavy opioids that would surely need a medical prescription on our website (soooooory, that back will have to keep hurting till the next day)
Hope that we were able to give you guys some humorous insights into the world of Data Mining at Malta Warehouse. Seriously though we get a ton of great requests and suggestions, so keep sending them our way. This is how we can evolve into a tool that people truly need and choose to use! We do best to try and differentiate ourselves from the other lock stock and barrel boring supermarkets out there.
Yes we might not have all the things you need right now, but we are doing our best to do so in the near future. We can only do this with your continued support. So click on the shop button and buy to your heart's content, we strive to be cheaper and a little more off beat than the rest! Click on the logo below to shop till you drop! ;)